Remember Ladies

My love story

To keep it brief: I placed an ad in the paper and my current girlfriend answered it. From then on it has been great. Here is the ad:

I was thinking

Yes, as hard as it may seem I do think and what I was thinking about may shock you. Why do women have sex. Its a question men have been thinking about since ... well who the heck cares but I just thought it would be fun to study. So, here goes. I have come up with four reasons:

1. Fuck for money
2. Fuck for drinks
3. Fuck for drugs
4. Fuck for self-esteem

Guys, trust me on this #4 is best. They try harder.

FYI Ladies!!!

Relationships

I know my female readers will be a bit offended by this post, but who am I kidding ... I have no female fans. Only four people including me probably read this blog so I am putting offensive funny stuff up.

It works both ways guys

If the lady is willing to go down on you and all you have to do is reciprocate, then your an idiot if you don't take her up on the offer. Ladies I am with you 100% in needing oral. If done right, its good times. Read what this poor woman had to go through:

"My fiancé does not like to give oral sex, but he loves to receive it. He gets it almost every night, but I have to beg to get it. He says it makes him sick, even though I am very clean. We are getting married in eight days, and I am seriously considering calling off the marriage because of this. What can I do to help him like it more?"

Now I feel for her. Its got to be tough to be the one giving and not receiving, but she got some good advice. Food products work in a relationship. They spice the sex life up cause after awhile even the hottest partner gets old (I have found the better looking they are the worse they are in bed). At any rate, start off with some whip cream on yourselves ladies (anything that is in liquid form will run into your ass). If your wanting to use it on a guy I say go with some honey or chocolate sauce (It will stick better to the penis). The number one thing to remember is your partner is just as shy as you (unless your dating me then your probably the shy one), so go slow and experiment with things. Learn from one another and know neither one of you is "sick" for wanting to be spanked or having alittle dirty talk.