God Bless the Israel Air Force!

Damnit I dropped something. Can you guys help me find it?

How to treat loose women

By the time I have a son they'll be pre-programing him with information before he is three so I figure I should have data ready to enter. Here is one of the first things my kid is going to learn:
When my son enters "Whore's Glore" he'll know how to handle these lovely ladies. Especially the lonely housewives and lesbians.

Oh, yeah!!!

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight / My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right" / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?

Worldly Advice

Why do you think a girl would get a lower back tattoo that she will never see? It’s so you have something to look out while you’re doing her doggy style. She wants you to be visually entertained during sex; how thoughtful is that?!

Remember Ladies

And you think you have it bad

So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. his nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix.

My love story

To keep it brief: I placed an ad in the paper and my current girlfriend answered it. From then on it has been great. Here is the ad:

I started a new profession ladies, buy seven get one free

Where do I buy one?

It's AnchorMAN! Not AnchorLADY, and that's a scientific fact!

Remember Guys

The King has some game: On a date with Brooke Burke

Random Thoughts

I just saw a bunch of the Victoria Secret models on TV. I believe they were making a proposition to me. Every time one of them raises an eyebrow, that's code for "I want to make love to you in the manner of wild beasts; meet me in on the corner of 14th and P."

The girls say a lot.

G-d damn you, Victoria Secret models! I'm only flesh and blood ... *sob*

I was thinking

Yes, as hard as it may seem I do think and what I was thinking about may shock you. Why do women have sex. Its a question men have been thinking about since ... well who the heck cares but I just thought it would be fun to study. So, here goes. I have come up with four reasons:

1. Fuck for money
2. Fuck for drinks
3. Fuck for drugs
4. Fuck for self-esteem

Guys, trust me on this #4 is best. They try harder.

I was told ladies don't fart so whats up with this shit

So true!

FYI Ladies!!!

Should we be worried men?

Relationships

I know my female readers will be a bit offended by this post, but who am I kidding ... I have no female fans. Only four people including me probably read this blog so I am putting offensive funny stuff up.