Ok, I thought I might give my two cents on hangovers. For the most part they are easy to avoid. Don't drink, but would that be any fun? I don't think so. What we are left with is a simple explaination on dealing with hangovers.What causes hangovers?
- Drinking alcohol stupid!
- Dehydration. Alcohol is a diuretic; it makes you urinate and flushes fluids from the body. Never drink anything with alcohol that is also a diuretic. For example, coffee only makes matters worse, because coffee also is a diuretic. The dehydration caused by alcohol and coffee can be minimized by drinking plenty of water. A headache is a symptom of dehydration and may be eased with asprin and water.
- Some alcohol is worse than others. Brandy, red wine, rum, whisky, beer, white wine, gin and vodka are worst to least in descending order of likelihood to cause a hangover. The British Medical Journal did tests that showed drinking bourbon is twice as likely to cause a hangover than the same amount of vodka. But since we all hate vodka (plus its for commies) we have to drink bourbon. Poor us.
- Different drinks for different folks. If you are allergic to yeast, for instance, unfiltered beer might leave you with a terrible headache (kind of obvious). Another one I learned on a wine website is what is called sulphur dioxide, which certain people are senstive to. It is an inti-oxidizing agent added to many wines to keep them fresh. Other people get headaches from chemical substance found in dark grapes. The latter will drink white wine with no effects, and suffer with red wines. But since I don't drink wine; I really dont' care if you wine drinkers get hangovers. Its either beer or the hard stuff. No in betweens.
- It is not an urban legend! Mixing drinks can cause hangovers. Be careful with what you’re drinking and when you’re drinking it. Remember this rhyme: "Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear." Beer or any other carbonated alcoholic beverage is absorbed much more quickly into your body. Drinking it before other alcoholic beverages will cause them to be absorbed more quickly as well. Simple facts my friends.
- One last point, the rate at which one absorbs alcohol can depend on mood. Increased adrenaline pushes alcohol through the system much faster. Therefore, feeling deeply depressed or ecstacially happy makes you drunk faster.
Taking preventitive steps
- One must consider their height, weight and personal tolerance for alcohol when drinking. Yes, that means you 80 lbs. girls that think keeping up with a 220 lbs. man is a good idea.
- Drink a glass of milk to start the evening. It will slow the absorption of alcohol, and protect your stomach against irritations (see above).
- Never drink on an empty stomach. Food helps to absorb some of the alcohol and aids the body in digesting it faster. Consider eating starchy foods to slow the alcohol absorption.
- If your a wussie, limit yourself to less than one drink per hour.
- Drink some water with your beer, but don't let your friends find out. Jerk.
- Back in the '60s, what were called "hangover shots," (vitamin B injections) were given in the infirmaries of many large U.S. military centers. The shots were massive replacements of vitamins lost during the previous night's massive consumption of alcohol that had dehydrated them right out of people. I am not saying to get an injection. Try a vitamin B pill instead.
You're hung over. What to do?
- Sleep. It gives your body time to recover. A tired or "unfit" drinker is especially vulnerable to hangovers.
- Again, I can't state this enough. Keep drinking water, stupid!
- Eat carbohydrates such as bread and pasta. This will raise your blood sugar level. Bananas are excellent because they contain complex carbohydrates, potassium and vitamin C. And if your stomach can't face food? Tea is best (I like chamomile), and make the first cup really strong. The chamomile will help your stomach, and taking in water with the tea, will ease the pain.
- Exercise. This will help you sweat the alcohol out of your system.
- Sex (see exercise).
There are doctors who claim hangovers are mostly mental. In that case, just suck it up and stop bitching!
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